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| Boston, MA |
As of today I have been in a long distance relationship for a little over a year and couldn't be more thrilled that it will all come to an end by the end of June. Like I'm sure you can all imagine, long distance is not fun and its certainly not easy. People ask me all the time how I make it work? Well I think its different for every couple but there are certain things I think were important to maintaining my relationship.
For me the most important was making sure we got to see each other as often as we could reasonably make happen. For the first half of the year apart we were only a 3 hour drive away, so we made a deal to see each other every other weekend and we ended up sticking to it. At this point we both had flexible schedules and long weekends were common. Then the second half of the year apart we were about a 1.5 hour plane ride away. Therefore we decided we would shoot for visits every three weeks, this was decided mostly based on budget. For this time frame our schedules were much less flexible and most visits were from Friday evening to Sunday evening. I wont lie and say those short visits weren't frustrating, because they were I would get upset every time we had to say goodbye.
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| Albuquerque, NM |
This is why I think the next most important thing is making sure you already know when your next visit will be before saying goodbye. This always made it a little easier to leave, already knowing I could start the countdown to our next weekend together. Never having to wonder when the next time you will see each other will be makes it much more manageable.
When you're together for the weekend, make the most of your visits. While you don't need to schedule out every minute of your time together its nice to have some activities planned. We have always made a point of trying to schedule visits around certain things we would like to do together such as events, weddings, etc. If something like that isn't on the horizon than we pick one "big" thing we would like to do together for that visit.
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| Cruise to the Bahamas |
In addition to seeing each other in person I think it helps to stay in contact as much as possible; text, call, and Skype. Its easy to feel like you're distant from your relationship if you feel like your not a part of your partner's life. I always feel better after a long phone call or Skype session. Technology has made this really easy there are so many opportunities out there.
While all of these are ways to help maintain the relationship when you're apart the real factor that makes long distance work is the relationship itself. If you don't have a trusting relationship to begin with, the distance sure isn't going to change that, it will likely make it worse.
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| Las Cruces, NM |
Every couple is different, but for all of you out there trying to make a long distance relationship work I hope this helps and answers some of your questions. Its hard, but remember if you think you found the right person you can make it work and it will be worth it in the end.
- E
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